Rich Kids Prove They Are As Stupid As Doorknobs As Fyre Festival In Bahamas Turns Into Red Pill

Rich Kids Duped Into Fyre Music Festival Debacle In Bahamas – All Hell Breaking Loose, Ja Rule Involved

ZeroPointNow's picture

What was set to be the opening weekend of trust-fund millennial debauchery in the Bahamas has turned into nothing short of Lord of the Flies. The Fyre Festival – organized by Ja Rule and some guy who’s scammed millennials in the past was hyped by models and advertised as a boutique luxury music festival held in Exumas, Bahamas. All inclusive tickets ranging from $4,000 – $12,000 were supposed to include a chartered private flight from Miami, private luxury tents, yacht rides, and performances from Blink-182 and about two dozen other artists.

Not so much…

The “chartered flight from Miami” turned out to be severely delayed coach seats, and upon arrival shocked concert-goers were met with partially constructed USAID disaster relief tents:


“Luxury” meals:

“Secure” lockers:

And an attentive concierge booth:

Hundreds of pieces of luggage were lost in transit, though a big container truck showed up in the dark to toss bags to a mob:

Just in time for the muggings and robberies!

Reports are rolling in of burning tents and anarchy:

Phones are dying, passports are missing:

Feral dogs are roaming around:

And relationships have been destroyed:

The US embassy is reportedly involved:

Oh, and Blink 182 canceled…

Only one question remains; WHERE IS JA?


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Downtoolong's picture


$12,000 for a ticket to a porta-potty and shit on a shingle for dinner.


It would only be funnier if they had to enlist in the Marines to get back home.




AKKadian's picture

The rich globalist will lose, because their kids are Fucking morons. YOU LOSE GLOBALISTS.!!!

Mr.Danglemeat's picture

I was stuck in a Cat.5 Hurricane. We were taken by our host resort to a walled, private Catholic School in the center of Cancun. There’s no power and no running water but the complex had two Olympic sized swimming pools aha!… Our back-up supply of Potable water!

After two days of sweltering, steam-bath humidity I took her ladyship into the bathroom and showed her how to take a bucket bath. When we came out, a lot of our fellow refugees were astounded by our freshness and within fifteen minutes, after dozens of baths and shampoos, both of the swimming pools were no longer potable..just murky grey water guaranteed to give you the shits.

  We don’t go on vacations where there are lots of Americans anymore….because they’re fucking stupid and stupidity kills.

Lostinfortwalton's picture

There are the same people whose parents pay $60,000 a year for them to go to Harvard, Yale, Princeton….after said parents have kicked in a few million to the alumni fund to get them accepted. This scam is small change.

GestaltNine's picture

lmao at the cheese sandwich omfg that’s the best 

death2Tyrant-asauras's picture

does anyone know how to make weapons?


best line of the whole damn fiasco.


there seems to be little warmth of feelings  for the victims.

Wahooo's picture

That person just became a conservative.


If you want something fucked up put a liberal dem in charge. If you want something completly fucked up put a nigger in charge. Its quite entertaining to witness the outcome. #winning. 🙂

gdpetti's picture

Guess this doesn’t matter much or I’d know who this Ja Rule person is…. is it a rapper? Who else would have a name like that other than that big fat character in Star Wars?


Just another dumb theiving ass nigger.

doomchild's picture

Are there people more fucked up and brain dead than Millenials ?

ableman28's picture

Is it too late to get tickets?

Incorporated by inference's picture

Bring our boys and girls home! Turn the Carl Vinson group around. That puts them in the Bahamas in 6-8 wks. This rescue may be the highlight of t bags first 100 days.
He may have to shoot Bill Clinton down. I heard he’s fling in aid already.

. . . _ _ _ . . .'s picture

Rich kids getting USAid tents.


loub215's picture

when will these dweebs learn… Just cause you have it, doesn’t mean you get to keep it! Lack of common sense is Darwin’s greatest weapon…

. . . _ _ _ . . .'s picture


“Common sense” might be a misnomer. I really don’t think “sense” is that common a thing at all.

Head_Shots_Work's picture

…and only a dumbass wouldn’t have his passport underneath his balls at all times in a situation like this. And yes – I can make weapons at about any time and about out of anything – so how do I contact that poor fuck? ha ha ha.

Head_Shots_Work's picture

Gee – my heart bleeds for the fucks. I think I’m going to hold a Symbolic Hunger Strike. Oh- i’m hungry – so it’s over. 

ironmace's picture

Good. Fuck ’em.

BGO's picture

Have to give it up for the wrappers. They have mastered the art of separating white suckers from dey monies. If Je Rule and Kenyan West joined forces, they could in short order own an entire generation of snowflakes. 

. . . _ _ _ . . .'s picture

“…they could in short order own an entire generation of snowflakes.”

They can have ’em. Now there’s a bear market if ever I saw one.

CompleteAphasia's picture

Maybe a few of them that have sense will now learn a lesson or two and maybe dump their libtard ideologies

Unbeholden's picture

Ha ha, too good. There are nowhere near enough stories like this to break up the (all too believable) doom and gloom, IMHO. I wonder if Ja Rule will spring for those highly effective Scandinavian rapist-repellent bracelets? It’s about time somebody realized that all you have to do is ask nicely to stop predators in their tracks…

. . . _ _ _ . . .'s picture

“Does anyone know how to make weapons?”

Yeah, the people ripping you off probably do.

Mama shoulda’ swallowed.

Steeley's picture


So, what exactly were you doing all those years in college, sweethearts?

(“Quick, before my battery dies, who has Bernie’s cell number?” What? His twitter is gone too??”)

Xena fobe's picture

Poor kids would go swimming and exploriing and make an adventure out of it. Go meet the locals.  Prople are usually hospitable. From their whining, you’d think they were lost in the arctic.

ResistTemptation's picture

HAHA cant … stop … laughing. I hope some real good stories about snowflake rape hit the web soon.

scoutshonor's picture

Anyone know how to make a weapon?

Team leader: sure first we have to build a fire, make a bellows, mine some coal and iron ore.  Then we need to construct a crucible, tongs, anvil, and a really big hammer.

Group member: ummm it’s the Bahamas–pretty sure they don’t have any coal or iron ore.


Another group member: does anyone know how to make a 3-D printer?


Xena fobe's picture

He’s overthinking it.  Just pick up a stick.  Imagine if these people get drafted into combat?  Are the even the same species as our forefathers?  They are an embarrassment.

scoutshonor's picture

True that–I shudder to think of what it would look like if we ever had to do something like WWII in this current time.  It is embarassing.

poetic justice's picture


chosen's picture

This is the funniest thing I have read this week.  Dumb shit millenials spending thousands of dollars to listen to shit music on a shit island, and ending up being scammed.  Anybody with half a brain knows that anything run by niggers will be complete clusterfuck.  Wake up, you dumb shits!  BTW, keep posting videos of your disaster, we all need more laughs.

Sixtus VI's picture

Best assessment of all.  LMAO!!!  These perspectively retarded millenials, many being trust fund designer sperm babies spawned by arrogant parents, demonstrated their abject level of collective stupidity by falling for an operation from the cutting edge of African engineering.

Sixtus VI's picture

Best assessment of all.  LMAO!!!  These perspectively retarded millenials, many being trust fund designer sperm babies spawned by arrogant parents, demonstrated their abject level of collective stupidity by falling for an operation from the cutting edge of African engineering.

rkoen's picture

People like me who can’t afford to take a hit like this take trip insurance.

These people probably never thought about that.

Deplorable Nationalist's picture

No worries. They can by insurance when they get home. Pre-existing conditions are covered, right? Right?! No? Fuuuuccckkk!

Deplorable Nationalist's picture

I hope this trip ends with really groovy participation trophies for all.
One the funniest things I have read or even contemplated in a long time. I hope the misery just goes on and on and on and lots of videos get posted. Gawd I wish the festival was streaming live. I’d spend the whole weekend watching. Please, ZH, keep us posted on the horrors. I haven’t been this happy in ages. Snowflakes cowering from feral dogs and nignogs is sooooo awesome.

F.A. Hayek's picture

I feel the same way, this was flippin hilarious, and the social media posts above, holy crap these people are dumb and absolutely helpless! Mommy, will you cut my steak please?

nationstates's picture

HELP…I WANT MY SAFE SPACE, and cuddle puppy…I want my MOMMY, I dont like real life.

oldguyonBMXbike's picture

The rich need to learn from a young age how to properly be duped out of their money. Lmfao

bardot63's picture

Delightful reading!!  Can wait for the film version.

NAVIGATOR0832's picture

Need to put venue in the middle of the desert where local predatory fauna are not around….like the burning man festival.  But…..that would require higher organizational thinking.    

Sirius Wonderblast's picture

The organisational thinking seems to have worked fine – 1) grab the money 2) cheerio!

GodSpeed_00's picture

There is a large five star resort in Exuma. I’m surprised the rich kids didn’t go there instead once they saw the situation.

Xena fobe's picture

Their wallets and phones were stolen.

Peter41's picture

Fools are born every day. A lot of them born during milennial time frame. Lots of ’em.

gregga777's picture

Millennials = Suckers

aloha_snakbar's picture

Maybe as a finale they could hire Barky Obortion for 400K to stutter for an hour on stage…

novictim's picture

This Red Pill Festival is just what the doctor ordered! 

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